Today you will make a to-do list and complete it. You will not criticize yourself for eating ice cream for one of your meals (two, yes, but not one). You will answer all those emails in your inbox and return those two phone calls. Please continue pretending like tomorrow is not going to happen; you don’t actually want to celebrate this year.
Self, Thursday will be better. Now get out of bed, crank up some music, and get to work.